Saturday, October 16, 2010

Blessed are those who mourn

Not a fun way to start a title huh. but I have been itching to write down and share alittle that has gone on in my heart this year in 2010! And just had a minute to sit down at my computer and write. But don't worry, if you perservere untill the end I am also going to add some fun pics of me and my little fam:)(esp for Nana, since I haven't since June). So this year has been AWESOME and TOUGH. I am not one who mourns very often. I am a Joy filled...Lets be happy and enjoy every bit of life person. So I am not always in touch with all my emotions very well......But this year. God has exposed me to some grief and allowed me to experience it, not just brush it away...And I have found the bible verse..Blessed are those who mourn is Real....Because my brush with grief and emotions of sadness has drawn into a deeper, more meaningful REAL relationship with my wonderful Jesus. You see, in February of this year I had a miscarriage. I lost my little baby Joy as I named her(yes, I am sure she is a gal, even if I dont really know)...I had never understood people with miscarriages. I thought it must not be that big of a deal...You don't even know the baby yet....Boy was I wrong. I loved this little gal...and still love her....And I grieved....Little by little it has come to me. Different times. Random times. Oh I wish I was still pregnant. Oh I would be huge with Little joy now.....Oh....why am I surrounded by so many newborns. But I have also experience God in new ways. God teaching me to give him my hurt and let him heal it. Learning to trust and to question. To cry and to laugh....I am so thankful for this time in my life.As this season has caused me to be blessed. To press into Jesus. to believe him and be honest with him.
What season of life are you in? It has also caused me to be very thankful for the little man I do have.

1 comment:

angelonwheels said...

Thank you for sharing something so painful and yet so beautiful with us! I love you! Brokenness is beautiful sweet friend, and Jesus continues to love and carry you!