Truth versus lies..walking in God confidence

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Chicken pox....and answered prayer!

it has been far too long since I have posted a blog.Not because I think I have anything earth shattering and exciting to say but because it is a great way to record ,y daily life to look back on in a few years and say wow..Time moves so fast..and I don't want to miss one minute of what God has planned for us. well this post is about strange answers to prayers.I am so thankful that God hears our hearts and Nasir's our prayers in better and sometimes more unusual ways than we can imagine! so I am at the very large and uncomfortable stage of pregnancy lol..exhibit a.. I have found myself in the last month wishing time to go by faster....dreaming of not being pregnant anymore and holding baby abigail in my arms.Wanting time to hurry hurry hurry so it didn't feel like every thing took so much effort. I have found myself short on patience with my two lovely little ones, and praying bedtime comes quickly so I can just rest. However the Lord had been working on me to change my perspective.To remind me that this time only happens once. I only have this day this day to do what God has called me to today! No matter how much energy or effort it takes. I only have this day to have a amazing energetic, superhero loving crazy funny five year old and a mischevious, climbing, hilarious chasing after her little brother all day 20 month old So I prayed a simple quick prayer. Lord, help me enjoy this time. Not rush through it..Spend these days in your presence basking in what you have planned for me each day. The only short time left we have to be a fam of 4.ANd God answered in the most unusual, Eph 3:20 more than I could imagine way..By giving my awesome son the chicken pox..I know it sounds crazy!Thursday morning my little man woke up crying and saying mommy I am itching and my belly hurts...sure enough..little man was covered in little itchy red bumps...we marched straight to the doctor...Lol..Alex has had both chicken pox vaccines..The docs said..Well this never happens. This is so unusual..We never see this when you get the vaccines...Ha. We never do things the normal way.ButGod!!!He knew this was part of his special answer to my prayer..You see..Chicken pox is contagious. In fact, I feel like we had the plauge. we were ushered out the back door hehhe..And told he would be contagious for 3 to 5 days.. Why am I seeing this as a good thing? as a blessing?Because it slowed our lives down for 5 days!And it was some of the best family time ever. We could not go anywhere, not even on walks with our friends or playdates at the playground. So I had 5 days of focused time at home with my kids.And it was such a blessing!Thankfully Alex was unaffected by chicken pox besides being itchy. He has as much energy and wanting to play as ever. we had the best 5 days playing outside in our sand table, playing in little blue little tikes pool in the driveways, blowing bubbles, playing superheros!And I asked God to help me enjoy every minute. NOt to hurry one moment along. God was so faithful to answer that prayer! He really gave me the chance to SLOW down and see The blessings he had for me to come alive in the NOW. Todd was able to spend so much time with us this weekend and we had a blast playing in sprinkler and our tiny little pool. I even kidnapped Jenn for the day and night, and between her and todd and my little amount of help we were able to complete my nesting project of changing my room and alex and hopes room. I was so happy with the final product.Ok, by the way, it wasn't a little project.but jenn and todd did all the work lol.these past few days were such fun family time I didn't even stop to get any pics. we were just busy enjoying life together. I am so glad the Lord answered my prayers in a crazy way...Through the chicken pox..And God wants to answer your prayer in a crazy way too..And slow your life down. No matter what you feel you are hurrying through life to do...ask God to slow you down and help you enjoy where he has you now.....

A James 1 year

Last December I started Beth mores bible study on James.what a blessing it was..but I had no idea how much I would need it in my year of wild faith in 2013. I really wanted to quickly skim over the study about James 1 where it says..Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds...who wants to think about suffering?and who wants to  count it all joy.
In 2013 I was tested on the power and truth of these verses.Already starting the year emotionally tired from a newborn and having just had to give up our foster son who we thought we were going to adopt..Then boom.In February my beloved daddy..My hero.My bed time story teller growing up.My spiritual hero was admitted to hospital..Almost died..Then boom..more bad news..Leukemia.agressive.scary.swrious..deadly leukemia..This led to a 30 day..very long..emotionally draining time in hospital..balancing being wife.mom.and daughter and siter was hard.on top of sleep deprivation because baby girl had chronic earaches..Some days I thought..really Lord..count it all joy?

Who knew that what was coming next would be even harder..Late one night in march on way home the unexpected happened.In the form of a deer missile..lol.that landed in my lap..It was at this moment that everything I believed was tested..It appeared at that night that I may have lost my babygirl and the love of my life for 8 years..I will never forget riding in ambulance.helpless as they turned 
on the light to upgrade to emergency status..the following days were harder than you can 
imagine..count it all joy.really Jesus?i am trying to be mommy to traumatized 5 year old..baby girl with head injuries who won't eat or drink.and hubs in icu who doesn't understand why i can't be there more to love won love of my life.some days those times in hospital I thought Lord i can't do this



Count it all joy? really

This isn't sounding like a very happy post is it? Well..I am writing this because It is thanksgiving week. ANd I I have more to be thankful for than I can ever imagine. The Lord has been faithful:) My little girl is walking, talking, and fine! My hubs is handsome as ever, with no long term affects from accident. ANd...MY DAD IS CANCER FREE! Glory glory...But I am writing this thankkgsiving post not because all of those miracles. But because even if all this had not turned out the way it had. I believe the Lord would have still helped me count it all joy. Because I have realized through all this. WE cannot count it all joy on our own. We dont have the strength to count it all joy. There were some days I thought I just couldn't get through the day..However...God truly does give super human strength to count it all joy. The prov 31 woman gets alot of flac. But when it calls her a strong woman it is using the same word that says david had the strenth to jump over walls and defeat troops. God gives us super human strength when we need it. to press in. to count it all joy no matter the outcome. and to Trust him. I dont want to ever forget what I learned through the sleepless nights. The pain of watching those closest to me suffer.And most of all count it all joy. Be thankful!The lord has drawn nearer to me when I had nothing left in me. He loved on me when I was unlovable. HE has been faithful!And for that this thanksgiving I am thankful!

What makes me come alive:) Jenn, you have done so much to teach me about that. I have been thinking recently about what has made me come alive in the crazy past two months I had. And honestly. There has been so much! IN the worst times of my life ever...I experienced God and his grace in new ways. And that makes me come alive. It makes me come alive that my life basically stopped for 2 months. and I learned alot during that time of stillness. It reminded me how much of a priority I need to make my marriage. IT has given us much time together. In fact, I will be sad when Todd can drive again and doesn't need to rely on me again. I will always cherish the early morning rides to work and picking him up from the bus stop after work.IT makes me come alive that I got to go to physical therapy for my fractured arm..and that I got to see results. After 6 weeks I can do things I couldn't do before. It is neat to see progress. ANd Todd told me yesterday he loved my arms...bonus points from working out at physical therapy lol:)IT makes me come alive how much the body of Christ has been generous and loved on us so much! God's people are more than amazing. I feel so loved.Watching God answer prayers has made me come alive. And watching each milestone in Hope's and Alex's life has made me come alive. I took so much for granted before. I don't want to miss one single moment!Also I have never been one to struggle with anxiety. And there has been some struggles since the accident. Espically in the car.But it makes me come alive that God is teaching me through it!And bringing freedom through it. I have so much to be thankful for! So Jenn. Thanks for teaching me to come alive!

how beatiful the body of Christ still is:)

I laughed outloud when I signed on my blog and saw my last blog entry. It was written in march, and it was written from tc thomspon children's hospital about how beautful the body of CHrist was while I had four day hospital stay with my foster son Matthew. Now here I am in July..writing the next blog post...About how beautiful the body of CHrist has been to me while I have spent three days at TC Thomspon with Alex my son:) DIfferent kid, different problem. same hospital. Same body of Christ!THis has been a very very long week. Not much sleep. Watching your kid suffer is very very hard. But besides the grace and strength my Jesus gives. The beautiful body of Christ has made this week blessed!From er visit on Mon on, peop;le have been praying for sweet Alex. We have had many visits. Meals. Treats. OUr friend Casey B. filled our pantry up for when we get home. Equipped with Clorox wipes and everything. People have brought snacks. Jenn and others have stepped in with foster son Alex. my mom has come every day to love on little man. People have prayed for us. Brought coffee and treats. Sent balloons. Kelli B and her sweet boys even made a basket of goodies for Alex. The bubbles were a life saver. ONly the body of Christ can make a three day hospital stay easier. If you don't know Jesus, you are not only missing out on a relationship with the King of Kings, you are also missing the privledge of being involved with HIS church!
ON a funny note. Because our foster son Matt is a frequent hospital visitor. All the ER staff knew us by name:)It is hilarious how many staff at TC Thomspon recognize me. IN fact on July 4 the ER doc said..Do you come in every holiday:) so funny.I love Children's Hospital. ONly here do they bring doggies in to visit Alex:)And let you blow bubbles when you get an iv.
God always had different plans than us. I was supposed to bein Haiti today, serving the people there in JEsus name. INstead, God has me here, serving my Alex in Jesus name. ONe cool God story while I have been here. Last night, the night nurse looked familiar to me. she said same. She later remembered why.When I worked with student venture at her highschool, i took her to taco bell and shared the gospel with her. THis was 7 years ago. She still had the booklet, and said she finally gave it to someone else.She said it has changed her life, and now she was teaching kids sunday school! HOw cool is God. I shared the gospel with her 7 years ago when she was in highschool, and now she is taking care of my son:)God is so faithful

The Body of Christ

I know..that might bring to mind the old school Christian song. How beautiful the body of Christ. But oh so true. HOw beautiful the body of Christ has been to me, Todd, Alex, and my little Matthew. When we did foster care training, they had us draw a diagram of the people in our life who could be resources for us as foster parents. I had so many to draw on the diagram. Because I am part of the BODY of Christ. And boy this week have I seen in. Having three ER Visits with Matthew, three 911 calls in two days. a trip to the ICU and a going on four day trip to the hospital brings out the needy in you. And boy has the body of Christ responded. Everyone has fallen in love with our new privledge from the Lord Matthew. ANd they have shown him the love of Jesus like you could never imagine. So while these few days have been tough..YOu guys have been the hands and feet of Jesus. YOu guys have prayed for my little guy. Brough food to me in the hospital. Text me to check on us.Sent balloons to our room to keep him happy and occupied. Came to pray with us. Kept my little boy.Wow. I could go on and on. Thrown me a suprise bday party prayed for and annointed me(my thursday night ladies)...ANd my family. Wow. They have watched my little man and made sure they loved on him(Mammy-you are the best)....They have slept in the uncomfortable hospital room with me and done everything matthew want(aunt nenn...not naming any names you are amazing)So body of Christ. So thankful I not only get the benefit of knowing Jesus.but benefit of Knowing Jesus through you! The best thing that ever happened to matthew is being loved on by this amazing body of Christ!

By wisdom....The Lord laid the earth's foundation

I have been absoltuly obsessed with Provers 3 lately. I read it every day...And am wowed and convicted afresh every day as I study it....We always hear the verse Prov 3:5-6...Lean not on your understanding....Well...That is all fine and good. but whose understanding are we leaning on.....Go on to Prov 3:19-20 and be amazed. we are supposed to lean on the Lord's understanding...which is the same understanding he used to set the heavens in place...Wow..Why do I ever choose to lean on my own understanding instead of the understanding of the one who made the heavens with one word..Glory..ANd God has very much been askinWow. This has been the most intense, most wonderful,'most humbling...most amazing two months of my life...I could never have believed last february during the hardest month of my life what seeemd like the worst thing ever could result in this feb having Matthew..What a blessing! Watching matthew transfrom has been the coolest thing I have EVEr been a part of. When he came to us in dec, he could barely speak 3 words...Now he is speaking in sentences.He learns new words every day...we can go in public without making a scene.He is praying at dinner, lifting his hands to praise the lord, learning his colors, learning to dress himself, learning to run and play like a normal kid...He is going to the zoo for the first time. He is learning to sing Jesus loves me! Wow..God is healing his brain as we speak...IT is amazing to watch. HE can answer questions now. glory glory...IT has been amazing. And Alex is learning too. LEarning to share...Giving his favorite toys to matthew.Praying for matthew.Asking for treats for matthew.Hugging and looving his big bro. Even when matthew is very agressive and picking on alex, alex just keeps right on loving him. THrough matthew, alex is learning to live out the meaning of his name helper of mankind..who is like the Lord! Wow..
But boy have I needed the wisdom and understaning of the Lord in more ways than I could ever imagine! Have I needed to fall flat on my face and say jesus help me more than ever. And His wisdom and understaning even more than ever. Brining a traumatized child into your home is always hard..espically hard if it is a child with disabilites who cannot communicate very well..There have been many struggles.but God has been so faithful. I love how God orchestrated this journey every step. His understanding..His plan for what went on in my life last year was way better than I could imagine!I had no idea when I was leaning on my own understanding, wondering why god wasn't answering my prayers..THat He was waiting on perfect timing to answer..SEnding his perfect child for us to take care of...Matthew is better than I could have asked or imagined! This morning I was reading my bible in my fav pink chair. At 7 matthew slowly came down the stairs. He gave me his huge smile, then ran to my arms, curled up like a little baby...And I rocked my 54 pound little love and prayed for the plans God has for him. Trusting God is hard..But HIS plans are always better!~