Sunday, October 12, 2014

Truth versus lies..walking in God confidence

everyone is asleep in my house right now..I am snuggling my little Abbi and having my own little glory Jesus time..Complete with hot coffee and wrapped up in my snuggie. nothing better.And Jesus has burdened my heart to share something up until now I have not been able to share.However I feel someone needs to hear..So hear goes. 2013 was hard!!Very hard.Between my dads cancer and my families little encounter with the deer(being sarcastic lol)that led to Icu and hospital stays for two people I love more than anything..I was ready for 2014 to come!So in November when Todd and I found out we had been blessed with a new life I was overjoyed.What a great joy to celebrate in the midst of one of toughest years of my life. on June 20 of this year we got to meet this Joy..My heart exploded when Abigail Grace Humbert was put on my chest..What a joy.Perfect an beautiful in every way..All was right with the world.Some struggle with transition to three but I was having time of my life. fast forward two months..We had very exciting news.God had called us to a very new season in life.To leave our home of 9 years..Our beloved church where Todd was on staff.His job of 8 years.And move to Cleveland Tn to be resident director of married student housing at Lee University..has anyone packed to move with a 6 year old,two year old tornado and a 2 month old..to say I was tired was probably an understatement. and then.......It happened.A night I will never forget!My hubs was downstairs with two year old tornado and 6 year old boy..I had freshly bathed abbi and dressed her in her snugly pjs for night.was walking downstairs with my snugly joy to do a bath handoff and wash hope..at the stair right above landing I tripped...and out of my arms Abbi went flying and landed face first in front of my hubs.It happened so quickly neither Todd and I could do anything to stop it..I will never forget the look of my baby face first on the ground.it makes me sick to my stomach.Time slowed down and yet moved quickly from there..911 was called.faithful aunt nenn was called to come..my little 6 year asking me is abbi dead?my little hope crying with strange police and fire fighters and ambulance there. for the second time in my mommy life I found myself riding in back of ambulance and heard them say..Turn The Lights On.I already knew that meant this is serious..life threatening. I will never be able to explain looking at a picture of your babies head with a skull fracture...hearing bleeding on the brain..Hearing we are admitting your once perfect baby to Icu..there are no words to describe that night...then there was the visit at 230 in the morning in the ICU from child protective services interviewing you and your hubs and calling into question your parenting. when I became a mommy in August of 2008 that became my calling.my passion.To be a mommy...I truly believe one of the ways Satan comes to attack us is steal,kill,and destroy our calling.To tell us we are not enough..Give up.You can never make an impact.You are not good enough..You really think you can make an impact?.... The moment Abbi fell.The lies and shame came hard..And fast...That moment in the ICU after DCS left...I really thought I was just done for.The lies and shame were o deep..so crushing I felt I couldn't stand.And they continued to pour in for the days after.. I say all this to say..I couldn't stay in that place.God has called me and empowered me to be a mommy!So I pressed into Jesus.Asked him to remind me of his calling.His empowerment.Clung to truths such as 1Thes.5:24 faithful is He who calls You.Trust Him and He will do it!Eph 2:10 He has good works prepared in advance for Me to Do!Eph 1:18-19.I can walk in the hope of my calling..knowing I do it with same power that raised Jesus from the dead! I am still battling through..asking God daily.Minute by Minute to choose truth over lies!To walk in my calling..as inadequate as I am for the task..Will you join me in battling for truth.To walk in your calling!

2 comments:

T.J. Ellis said...

This is beautiful! You are so brave I needed it so do many othwes.

Kim Hyland said...

I'm a friend of your sister's, and I prayed for you and your family that night and months earlier on the night of your car accident. I've always believed God has a mighty purpose for you and your family. Why else would you be fought so? As mommas, we always come up short. It's a hard and sobering reality, but the sooner we accept it the sooner we can embrace our Father's all-sufficiency. You are a mighty woman and the testing of your faith will reap an abundant harvest in the life of your family!